21 days

hmm it takes 21 days of daily repetition to form a habit... i used to smile everyday automatically, and now, it's a conscious effort. But, i've decided to become a part of Nuskin an MLM company and one of it's dictates is to spend 21 days generally smiling and making myself feel good about what i am doing and i plan to do just that.

21 days of habit forming... let's do it!

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

~the broken voice~

I think it's really gone for good... my original voice seems to be gone forever... It's been one and a half months and I am still unable to sing the range I'm used to... I still lose my voice when I don't focus on speaking, I still struggle to be in tune when I sing the little bit I CAN sing...

sigh it makes me want to cry some days... being in the choir were the best days of my life, and now i can't even re-live those dreams, i can't... i can't dream anymore...

it's also been so long since I talked to xiao mei... i miss her a lot, but she refuses to talk to me...

i just really want to cry... even though i'm a guy...