29th May

Hmm i spent the day thinking and playing gb mostly, been rather listless the whole day. I didn't feel depressed, sad or angry at all, but maybe it's because I'm rather sick. Went out with my sis and mom, to Kuriya at Great World City, gave directions to a JC couple (sometimes ppl jus need eyes, the toilet sign was 90 degrees to their right, and 2 metres away...) Went into a christian bookstore, thought abt the few girls in my life I'd actually give such stuff too, and mean it...(heaven forfend me from giving any such stuff to guys, most of them would give me strange looks), then felt really nauseous and had a headache out of nowhere...

Sat down for a while, thot of the conversation I had with Ishan, and wondering to myself why i act so much with her nowadays...*shrug*... feel like i'm putting on a show for her benefit.

Then as though in a movie, a friend smses me to thank me for a pep talk, a pep talk that i wish Ishan would appreciate half as much... Haha, ah the ironies of life. The untouchables appreciate but cannot return the favour(overly so at least), the touchables, dun appreciate and even complain abt it sometimes. What do I mean? Well u'd have to ask me sometime to explain it to u. My MSN is laishaun@hotmail.com and no this not a blatant advert, jus a friendly guy who doesn't mind helping others and toking abt anything to most ppl.

Hmm, after that, I walk around somemore, and went into Goland bookstore, bought a HTML guide... I want to improve myself... I do that once in a while, explaining my ability to play many instruments(but not well), and my many bits of general knowledge(which is usually useless academically)

Then best of all, my mom was worried cos, me, the one who plays basketball, who like bike stunts, who has the best balance in the family... Fell down in an open parking lot..., rather funny actually, had a sudden dizzy spell, legs went weak and 'whoops'. Haiz, and tmr is my grenade throwing to boot...

Should I start ranting now?... Nah, dun feel like it and jus feel really tired all day, and... I dunno jus not happy. Maybe cos i felt jealous at all the young couples at Great World City, maybe cos, of all the sad times i failed to even tok to the girls i liked, and was reminded of in the Christian store, and maybe was cos i'm reminded of my failures as a student when i saw the test books in Goland... Well, it might not b cos of these, and might be cos of them all, i'm not sure myself... Jus that today was one of the strongest contrasts of my week, winning a tug of war/chatting with a few good frens and jus relaxing at home 3 treats of currently rare and cherished times yesterday, to absolute lack of joy today. I'm not sad depressed or even angry, jus... I sudenly dun understand why I used to smile and laugh wherever I go, I jus dun noe anymore... Or I somehow lost it...

Haha, i still remember someone telling me, 'U need a girlfriend lah', another told me,' Stop substituting basketball for the time you should be spending with a gf'. The best part is both were girls who told me tt... Haha, well, I guess i'm the type of person who everyone likes to talk to on the net or ask questions, but nvr to date... oh well, time to go back to camp... Hope all couples out there treasure each other, especially Aunt and SM, Flora and Zachy, Princess and Ben, Jie and Ah boy:), Jamie and Sec1.

Ow...

Arms hurt, and legs hurt lol..., the familiar refrain from my protesting body that i used to hear so often. Haha, now i remember why i stopped goin to the gym and stopped doin weights. Cos it was like alchohol, it may feel good when u're doin it(getting fit in this case) but the payback the next day is hell... Haiz, 10 more hrs to book in time... God give me strength...

Pain

Pain pain pain pain pain pain, argh, hate hate hate migraines, especially when they come with the bloody flu! Damnation, haiz... And i have to book in tmr... Sian ah.... well, at least I managed to help my company win the inter-bmtc tug of war..., but now i ache everywhere in my torso region, and i hate my boots! Haiz, what to do? I wear uniform, i have eczema=rashes, i wear the boots+flat foot= sore feet, I wear the camo cream, eczema again...Well one more week to go then POC! Can sit in a nice aircon rm and be a clerk... lol..., and finally play basketball *dreams on* haha, well cheers then

Previous post

yes my previous post may seem funny now... even to me, but i wasn't anywhere near that close to laughter at the time, jus rather irritated at, oh... the world tt's all...

Weirded out

Are there no pretty girls in S'pore above the age of 17 who are virgins anymore? Or do I somehow always end up toking with the ones who are not? It's always awkward toking to some of them especially when they suddenly start toking abt it... Not like I read/know abt such stuff... Ask me almost anything, abt art, abt religion, abt science, damn even zoology, or psychology, and i can give u an educated conversation, but somehow almost all the talks i have with girls(with some exceptions of course) degenerate into talks of sex, and how they aren't virgins anymore... I admit here and now, I AM A VIRGIN ok? yes i'm 18 goin 19 and I'M A VIRGIN, understand? It always feels weird when they say things like they having multiple 'o's, and how they spend the night at their bf's houses...

Sheesh as tho it isn't bad enuff being the youngest in my bloody Pegasus company in tekong, almost everyone knows more than me abt such things..., and they all have to go and tok abt it as well(dunno what colour of sperm lah... wtf?)... Why the hell am I always the youngest guy? In class, army, and even among most of my cousins, I'm always lauded as the youngest... bleah, whatever, it sux to be younger than so many ppl, yet be built bigger, and with the ability to beat ppl in 29 consecutive games of checkers and 8 consecutive games of chinese chess... I dunno what ppl want from me and i dunno what i want, bleah, whatever, iq=142=virgin forever? haha whatever, the world can jus laugh at me, i dun really care anymore...

Deja Vu

Wow, first thing in the morning and I get a shock and heartache all in one shot. An older friend of mine had a new post in his blog. It sounded so close to all that happened to me in the first 4 months of this year, the things that plunged me into the deepest abysmal depression I had ever faced, even until now I'm not sure I've fully recovered from it. I find myself wondering at night, when the witching hour comes and goes, with utter silence and darkness, how far I'd have gone. I posted a mesage to him trying to help, but I'm not too sure how much I helped, considering I was pretty helpless myself in the onslaught of feelings.

All I can say is, 'girls out there, u want guys to be knights in shining armour, to be altruistic, to be like ACS's "Officer Scholar Gentleman", but so many of u play the heart strings till the scholar follows his heart rather than brain, the gentleman resorts to hook rather than crook, and the officer betrays his country. I hope all girls understand the power they have over guys.'

Anyway, I have to go back to camp tonight, go back to grenade throwing, so I will most probably do what I did best in sec sch, concentrate till I forget... Rather simple technique to learn actually. I hope what i Posted will help my friend, and will pray for him, myself, and everyone I know. I hope many of my friends both male and female never have to go through what I've gone through, jus hurts the heart too much. Ah, whatever, gtg eat breakfast... Tho i've lost my appetite.

Bored again...

Subject : Your IQ Test Results
Thank you for recently taking the IQ Test, your score was: 142

If you wish to purchase your Complete Personal Intelligence Profile,
you can do so by going to this address:

http://www.iqtest2.com/view/iqtest/options/040524/10854606762463

You may return to this address anytime to view your score. Click on
the link and use your web browser to bookmark this page's location.

Our test usually gets within 5 points of the professional tests--a
remarkable feat for a 13 minute test.

Our test gives you a quick and fast measurement of your abilities, and
that can indicate directions for you to take.

Average: 85 - 115
Above average: 116 - 125
Gifted Borderline Genius: 126 - 135
Highly gifted and appearing to be a Genius to most others: 136 - 145
Genius: 146 - 165
High Genius: 166 - 180
Highest Genius: 181 - 200
Beyond being measurable Genius: Over 200

lol, boredom beckons

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

lol, funny

The 5-Factor IPIP Personality Test

Shaun, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Conscientious

You are the kind of person others depend on. You're competent, self-disciplined, and able to carry through with any plan you create. You've just got it together. You're also good at weighing the pros and cons of any situation and making sound, well-informed decisions. Compared to others who are conscientious, you are unusually reliable. Only 2.9% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.

Wow sleep

Hmm slept for abt 11 hrs last night... Must have been loads more tired than i had believed myself to be... I think I'll spend the day jus looking for my 'O' level cert and doin lazy stuff like watching movies and basically tryng to stop myself from being bored to death... If ya see me online, tok to me pls? haha, cheers

Oh wheee...

I have, bronchial lung infection again sian...., the stupid infection caused me to lose my voice for a bloody month earlier this year..., So the doc and i are not taking any chances..., i'm staying at home to get lots of rest... resulting in a 4 day mc... I feel so tired all the time, and when i'm awake i feel bored. Someone pls save me from myself. I really hate my house sometimes... no one ever visits(friggin ulu here), and the onli thing i do at home is blog/chat/read/sleep... Haiz, i dunno which is worse, the sickness or the loneliness... Haha onli funny thing that happened today is a sense of deja vu i got from reading an ex-classmate's blog... Oh I think I'll do some internet tests again, and post them here... Chers

Morning

Hmm it's late morning and i bump into an ex-classmate via icq haha. Hmmm, she seems really happy, and has her life mostly in order..., I wish I was like tt... I don't even know what i want to do with my life. There so so many interesting things in the world that i want to dabble my hands into, concepts in both the artistic and scientific realms that jus seem too interesting to pass up... Well, hope God will provide.. i hope... Anyone have suggestions?... pls comment :P

tests....continued

Congratulations, Shaun!

Your IQ score is 133
This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Classic IQ test. Your IQ score is scientifically accurate
During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We were able to analyze how you did on each set of those questions, which reveals the way your brain uniquely works.
We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is a Facts Curator.
This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Shaun, your Super IQ score is 131

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.
The way you think about things makes you an Intuitive Investigator. This means you have multiple talents and can do anything you set your mind to. You're able to detect numerical patterns easily and are able to grasp the true complexity of the world, both in its details and in a more abstract form. You've got a sharp logical mind and are adept at using words to get even a difficult point across. The combination of all these things makes you truly brilliant.
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Intuitive Investigator? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Intuitive Investigator. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Took some tests... again lol (The brain test)

Shaun, you are Balanced-brained (from www.tickle.com)

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.
When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.
While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.
The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

AttC

I finally achieved AttC status, for all non-NS ppl there, it means i fell sick enuff to stay at home rather than go to camp. Yup i am so sick, i'm not even trying to sing... Anyways, i get to stay home today, and chao keng haha, slack tt is. I managed to get some work done today tho, got some cheers done for the inter-company games day, was really easy, like writing slogans that idiots could understand, 'pegasus pegasus we will win!', went all downhill after tt. haha. But cos oh army regs, i have to stay at home for this duration or else i might get charged. :P Oh well, anyway i went to my Grandma's place today, and for some weird reason my young cousins there all seemed really happy to see me... Weird, not like i buy them sweets or anything :P Anyway i will once again post as often i am humanly able, adiosZ!

weird

For some reason the post i had yesterday disappeared... oh well..., life's like tt... haha, anyway, it's been a hellish week, with me really falling sick and having an exercise called 'stand by universe'. I had a nice day today tho... went out to Beach road, got a few barang barangs, then went to kino to indulge myself in comics(again), then went out with my oldest fren to watch Shrek2, a fantastic show, especially the pinocchio part...
********************************************************
Shrek: quick! get ur nose to grow!
Pinocchio: how?
Gingerbreadman: Say u wear women's undergarments!
Pinocchio: I wear women's undergarments!
(nothing happens)
Gingerbreadman: U DO wear women's undergarments!
Pinocchio: No i don't!
(nose grows)
Gingerbreadman: and it's a pink thong too!
Pinocchio: No it isn't!
(nose grows somemore)
*********************************************************
hmm then i came home and now i'm here... well i think i'll go to the doc's tmr... felt lousy these past few days, think i'm falling sick... Saddest part about this week is that i've not heard from the one i want to hear most from... Theme Song of the week, Heaven Knows, lyrics fit my mood rather well :P, haha, well i'll post again as soon as i can... cheers!

New chapter of life

Heys to all my frens, i'm moving to this blog, cos the old one brought a few too many bad memories..., jus decided to start a new chapter in my life and start anew. Will post more son. cheer!

p.s., I chose silver bird cos my fav lit boks are, The Silver Sword and To Kill A Mocking Bird, feels appropriate right now.