Questions by S.L.J

When it comes, it comes,
What will be, will be.
How do you do what you do?
Why do we work so hard,
Only to get more work?

Why do I dream?
Why do I feel?
Why do I hope,expect, desire?
When I know, I'll only be
Disappointed?

An Answer,
Thus is to live.
My Answer.

Weekend

I noe it ain't exactly the most well thought out title, but, whatever yeah? Hmm, had this saying thrown into my face repetitively over the past few days... Quis custodiet ipsos cutodes... basically means, 'Who will guard the guards?'...(or if u're picky for a literal translation, who has custody of the custodian, doesn't sound right does it?) Anyway, the phrase got me thinking... Who will guard the guards, doctor to the doctors, or in my case, care for the care giver?...

I mean I like to help others when they're in need, talk t them to cheer them up when they're depressed. but when i'm depressed, normally theonly person to sit down with me and talk things over, getting things sorted out is... well... me. Not to demean the many peple in my life who i do share my troubles with... It's jus tt, i find myself consoling myself... A bit too often. It's almost like, i have to solve almost every problem i find by myself. Every emotional setback i suffer, i suffer alone cos i have to show a strong front to people. And recently, i'm jus really tired all the time. Even when i rest a lot, i jus, don't have it in me to be driven to do anything recently. I do my job in camp, i help those who need help. Then there's nothing left for me. There's also no one there for me. Sorry if i sound like i'm whining, and i prolly am,..., can't think clearly anymore, jus really tired. I'll blog again another day... hope i have a better rein on my emotions soon, they've been running amok for some time. Adios amigos...

fixed it

finally fixed my blog, when i tweaked it a few days ago, left a line of code out..., and it couldn't update from my dashboard...., took me a feverish hr, but managed to fix it.. gonna sleep now..., starting to hate computers... but ifi didn't come on i'd miss talking to all my friends... many great ppl, like jamie,khaymar, aunt... vonnezzz, and pris..., also joel, ian etc etc... only reason i come online is to chat with them..., if not i'd prolly become a hermit..., adios then, signing off

The great the amazing...

exploding skull, comes in many great colors, gray matter, blood red splashes and anatomically correct result of an explsion originating from within the skull...

Haiz..., i wish the weekend was here already... Not that i ever really do anything... or have an opportunity to go out and mix with new people... I jus miss having time to relax, play basketball... Just so tired all the time now... Non-stop work in camp, and then out of camp, i think abt my work in camp. Plus the new strain of looking for universities and applying to them, and also thinking of how i can help my church, or at least my church friends... Haiz, i know i know, all these pressures can be reduced, but... I feel the need to do my work right and well, to please my parents, and to help others who need my help... Jus so tired.. sometimes i wish i wasn't so nice all the time... sad thot isn't it?...

Anyway, enuff babbling, gonna go and read then sleep now..., God bless all NS men... We need it...

AHM award

Hmm I got the second prize in the Army Half Marathon donation draw... So i have a sony clie and loads of ideas with what to do with... haha... hmm the week ended off well, after outlasting my commanding officers..., had a day where i was essentially alone in the office with my owwn time to do what i needed to do, and best part was that there were no officers to add to my workload... hmm my MSN is done and hotmail seems to be down as well..., i gues i'll go play my playstation tonight then...

Busy busy busy

Ha... Been busy... Good exercise for a clerk... So many things to do, and so little time, had to do a lot of stuff on the run... Literally... Haha, but I managed to outlast almost all of my officers... They also couldn't quite keep up with the hectic pace... 3/4 of them all reported sick and obtained MC today... with 2 of the 4 left taking Leave... Haha... So today wasn't as hectic... No one to chase me...
In other news... Read the Newpaper yesterday... Average age of people in S'pore losing their virginity is 19..., and average is doing it 4 times a week... And there I was thinking... 'The papers are calling things low end? Where does that put me?... Technically, at the ultra low end' lol, oh well, doesn't matter, like Robert Langdon says, ' I'm married to my music, academics and sitting back with a good book in hand'

I'm currently waiting from a call i'm not sure is coming. Jasper... lava lamp... for sis... need... before... she... gets suspicious... haiz..., Tomorrow is sure to be a hectic day... Another day single, alone and too )*^% busy to actually care :P bb for now

Tetra elemental

Hmm, I've used so many aspects of myself these few days I'm kinda wondering, where my life will lead.On friday I was doin clerical work in camp, then in the evening went to give some church people tuition, cos of their upcoming exams, i teach everything... On saturday used my skill with computers to fix church worship problems(dun ask). Then I checked and fixed certain parts of my car engine last night too...(mechanic wksp from OETI came in handy) Then this morning, played guitar for the worship session, after which I helped my overburdened friend with group leading(i used to be a cell group leader) Then went to play basketball with my friends... So in 3 days i was clerk, teacher, computer technician, mechanic, musician, cell group leader, and jus plain having fun... Wonderful..., now if only i can figure out a high paying job that requires someone who can do all that... *thinks....*thinks somemore... *strains what braincells available.... nope nada, zip zero nil, kosong... No job whatsoever... Very fun train of thot... Shall now apply to several universities with this thot in mind.. thank you world...

Superfragilistic Defenstrative powers of recuperation.

BTW, the title doesn't mean anything... Hmm, I don't how, I don't know why, yesterday was a such a poke in the eye... lol, jus kidding, i'm feeling better not so sick not so tired... Jus wanna chase after Jasper for my Sis' present...It's on the 13th of October and I have no backup present.*to show the disorganisation of my mind, side note to matt: no i was not refering to you in my last post.. jus some irritant in camp* Anyway, I'm currently, typing in my blog and chatting with.. oh 5 ppl at the same time. I call it honing my typing ability... Since I'm gonna be a clerk in GLS... This is rather good practise... really it is... Hmm, I've decided to jus *insert-vulgarword-here* it and buy a new com, with what pay i've earned before NS and during NS... Should be enough to get a good one, that i can fill to the brim with firewalls and anti-virus software and a really good defragger, so that everything will run smoothly... for once...

I will say it once and for all for every male fren of mine who reads my blog and will ask them to stop asking my this irritable question... NO! I DO NOT HAVE A GF, DO NOT PLAN TO GET ONE, NOT NOW,NOT FOR THE NEXT YR OR SO,AND NO I AM NOT GAY AS A CONSEQUENCE OF THIS ACTION! Please lah, jus cos i got a car, can play multiple instruments, and am a nice guy doesn't mean i die die must have a gaggle of girlfriends hidden somewhere... Is not that I un want to intro them to u, is that they are NON-EXISTENTIAL comprende compadres? If u no understand engrish then come to me and i will repeat to u the phrase in malay, mandarin, hokkien(with vulgarities added, or not), even in sign language. And if i can get my fren to teach me, i'll say it in tamil even ...

*deep breath* ok tt's all for now... No animals, soft toys or punching bags were injured in the making of this blog...(thot the keybord is a little bruised)

Busy....

Hmmm, haven't been posting much recently... Having problems with my com..., with my work..., with my blog... and simply too busy/tired, and couldn't be bothered to update... hmm haha, at the behest of my 'aunt', here's the latest update.

My com is fried, I've ended up doin the work of 4 people (again), I'm falling sick, I am about to chase and tio gan jasper for delaying the present i wanted to give my sis(ordered thro him but he hasn't shown up with the goods yet and time is runnning out), the only things constant in my life right now, is the mountain of work i know awaiting for me tmr, and my inability to improve my guitar skills.

Haha I don't understand the SAF sometimes. Shan't elaborate here tho, had evidence that this page is being watched by pro-PAP loyalists... Anything said in this blog will and has been used against me.. :p

Well that's about all for now..., promise myself to fix the blog... someday.. when i can be bothered, and when i have the time(unlikely to be soon)