29th May

Hmm i spent the day thinking and playing gb mostly, been rather listless the whole day. I didn't feel depressed, sad or angry at all, but maybe it's because I'm rather sick. Went out with my sis and mom, to Kuriya at Great World City, gave directions to a JC couple (sometimes ppl jus need eyes, the toilet sign was 90 degrees to their right, and 2 metres away...) Went into a christian bookstore, thought abt the few girls in my life I'd actually give such stuff too, and mean it...(heaven forfend me from giving any such stuff to guys, most of them would give me strange looks), then felt really nauseous and had a headache out of nowhere...

Sat down for a while, thot of the conversation I had with Ishan, and wondering to myself why i act so much with her nowadays...*shrug*... feel like i'm putting on a show for her benefit.

Then as though in a movie, a friend smses me to thank me for a pep talk, a pep talk that i wish Ishan would appreciate half as much... Haha, ah the ironies of life. The untouchables appreciate but cannot return the favour(overly so at least), the touchables, dun appreciate and even complain abt it sometimes. What do I mean? Well u'd have to ask me sometime to explain it to u. My MSN is laishaun@hotmail.com and no this not a blatant advert, jus a friendly guy who doesn't mind helping others and toking abt anything to most ppl.

Hmm, after that, I walk around somemore, and went into Goland bookstore, bought a HTML guide... I want to improve myself... I do that once in a while, explaining my ability to play many instruments(but not well), and my many bits of general knowledge(which is usually useless academically)

Then best of all, my mom was worried cos, me, the one who plays basketball, who like bike stunts, who has the best balance in the family... Fell down in an open parking lot..., rather funny actually, had a sudden dizzy spell, legs went weak and 'whoops'. Haiz, and tmr is my grenade throwing to boot...

Should I start ranting now?... Nah, dun feel like it and jus feel really tired all day, and... I dunno jus not happy. Maybe cos i felt jealous at all the young couples at Great World City, maybe cos, of all the sad times i failed to even tok to the girls i liked, and was reminded of in the Christian store, and maybe was cos i'm reminded of my failures as a student when i saw the test books in Goland... Well, it might not b cos of these, and might be cos of them all, i'm not sure myself... Jus that today was one of the strongest contrasts of my week, winning a tug of war/chatting with a few good frens and jus relaxing at home 3 treats of currently rare and cherished times yesterday, to absolute lack of joy today. I'm not sad depressed or even angry, jus... I sudenly dun understand why I used to smile and laugh wherever I go, I jus dun noe anymore... Or I somehow lost it...

Haha, i still remember someone telling me, 'U need a girlfriend lah', another told me,' Stop substituting basketball for the time you should be spending with a gf'. The best part is both were girls who told me tt... Haha, well, I guess i'm the type of person who everyone likes to talk to on the net or ask questions, but nvr to date... oh well, time to go back to camp... Hope all couples out there treasure each other, especially Aunt and SM, Flora and Zachy, Princess and Ben, Jie and Ah boy:), Jamie and Sec1.