Guilty

as charged... Haiz, sadly i've been really sick the past week or so... The first day I was sick I still managed to go to the Helping Hand, but after much internal debate and discussion with my parents, it's been decided i'll go and help out only after i'm well... I feel guilty every night I'm at home, resting... Though I'm coughs wrack my body, I still think of goin there, jus to help for a few hours... Hmm, I wonder if this is similiar to 'survivor's guilty'. It's a trait some survivors display when they are one of very few to survive a cataclysmic event or holocaust. Most of the time these survivors believe they should have expired with their family or friends or at least that they are too lucky. Similiarly, I feel sometimes that I'm too lucky, so I feel the urge to act, to just go out and help other people, regardless of their age, race, religion or gender. It annoys some people I know... I'm not saying I'm a saint, or even a good samaritian... It's just a compulsion that grabs hold of me once in a while... I remember there was once, where on the same day, in anger or spite(i can't rightly remember) i pushed a guy off the stage, yet later in the day i saved a small boy from being hit by a car... At the expense of my sch bag being run over by said car... Could have been me :P... Maybe I'm too self-rightous, thinking of myself as better, bigger than others, thus having the responsibility of defending them.. Who do I think I am? Spiderman? Bleah, more like Mr Bigheaded Pig. Sigh... I wsih I could do more, yet my friend throws my words back in my face, 'Even Superman can't be everywhere at the same time...' Yeah whatever, fine, I'll just sit here in front of my com, and pray to God to get well soon so I can go out and save the world somemore haha... K, feel better after spouting nonsense... Will be back to post in... Dunno, when i feel like it... Oh, kudos to those who come to my blog to view it, sry for the scattered and irregular posting, won't promise to post in a timely and constant way, jus not my style :D, ciao amigos