Toilet jokes
Graffiti 1
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Here I lie in stinky vapour, Because some ******* stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this....
Washroom Graffiti 2
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Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Some one who had a different experience wrote
Washroom Graffiti 3
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You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!
Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets
Washroom Graffiti 4
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I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
There are also people who come in for a different purpose
Washroom Graffiti 5
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Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Toilets walls are also job advertisement places.......
Washroom Graffiti 6
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(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.
Ministry of environment advertisement
Washroom Graffiti 7
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We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!
Washroom Graffiti 8
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Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
Washroom Graffiti 9
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On the inside of a toilet door:
patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
Washroom Graffiti 10
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A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:
We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool!
Washroom Graffiti 11
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Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.
This should teach you a lesson
Washroom Graffiti 12
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Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Just for laughs
Little Johnny's Too Smart For First Grade
A first grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too."
Mrs Brooks had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Johnny: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Mrs Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."
Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him, some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agree.
Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of? Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Mrs Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut."
Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny takes charge.....
Johnny: "Bubblegum."
Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on 3 legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....
Johnny: "Shake hands."
Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?"
Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me.You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Johnny: "Tent."
Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first"
The principal was looking restless and a bit tense. Johnny: "Wedding Ring."
Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?"
Johnny: "Arrow."
Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny: "Fire truck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
A first grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too."
Mrs Brooks had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Johnny: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Mrs Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."
Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him, some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agree.
Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of? Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Mrs Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut."
Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny takes charge.....
Johnny: "Bubblegum."
Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on 3 legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....
Johnny: "Shake hands."
Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?"
Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me.You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Johnny: "Tent."
Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first"
The principal was looking restless and a bit tense. Johnny: "Wedding Ring."
Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?"
Johnny: "Arrow."
Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny: "Fire truck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
JUst wanted to say...
I have been thinking a lot, and... My way is still not clear. I have no idea what I am aiming for still... I have all my short term goals, and they're all pretty and nice all stacked up in a corner, but what do i want? Current short term goals are simple things like, do well in school, find and learn new things in a city where I know no one and nothing of, keep in contact with old friends, and do God's work, whatever it is.
I have no answer..., to anything. I mean I have some friends here now, I've found an apartment that will last me the next three years, and I have plans as to what I will be doing those three years. What is it for though? Money? Status? Recognition?, I don't know, I want to be satisfied with my life, I want to learn so much, I don't want to be confined to a single subject, I want to know more! I like the idea of psychology to see what makes poeople tick, I like physics cos through a series of calculations and formulas, you can predict how something would work, aerodynamics, trajectory, spatial dimensions. I like chemistry, and its links to biology, how something so small, can create a worldwide phenomenon, how acids react differently and why? Is it due to 'reactivity'? something created by nature, or is it physics in the ways it's molecules and electrons are made? I like how all science ties together and splits apart yet doing it's best not to clash with each other, sort of like a symphony for a choir, many voices one song. I like music also for this reason, how separate 'pretty' parts can be conjoined into a beautiful whole. I like political science, and how the world has created so many governmental systems to promote the equality of man, and do it in so many ways, a sort of evolution due to historic events as simple as a tea party. I like religion and how symbols and interpretations and miracles have shaped it. I like the moral stories and gospels that speak of simple things with immense implications. I like sports as well the teamwork involved and personalities involved, how many people with different attributes and different mindsets can act in collusion, can act together towards one goal, and the adrenaline rush. I like computers, how the binary code and what the future of quantum computers present, where other than 0 or 1 , you can have states in between. I even like small animals, most obviously dogs and cats, I want to know how to care for them, commnicate with them.
There are a dozen more things I like and want to know, how do I reconcile what I want to do with life, with what I can do? Life is fantastic, but what do I do with it?
I have no answer..., to anything. I mean I have some friends here now, I've found an apartment that will last me the next three years, and I have plans as to what I will be doing those three years. What is it for though? Money? Status? Recognition?, I don't know, I want to be satisfied with my life, I want to learn so much, I don't want to be confined to a single subject, I want to know more! I like the idea of psychology to see what makes poeople tick, I like physics cos through a series of calculations and formulas, you can predict how something would work, aerodynamics, trajectory, spatial dimensions. I like chemistry, and its links to biology, how something so small, can create a worldwide phenomenon, how acids react differently and why? Is it due to 'reactivity'? something created by nature, or is it physics in the ways it's molecules and electrons are made? I like how all science ties together and splits apart yet doing it's best not to clash with each other, sort of like a symphony for a choir, many voices one song. I like music also for this reason, how separate 'pretty' parts can be conjoined into a beautiful whole. I like political science, and how the world has created so many governmental systems to promote the equality of man, and do it in so many ways, a sort of evolution due to historic events as simple as a tea party. I like religion and how symbols and interpretations and miracles have shaped it. I like the moral stories and gospels that speak of simple things with immense implications. I like sports as well the teamwork involved and personalities involved, how many people with different attributes and different mindsets can act in collusion, can act together towards one goal, and the adrenaline rush. I like computers, how the binary code and what the future of quantum computers present, where other than 0 or 1 , you can have states in between. I even like small animals, most obviously dogs and cats, I want to know how to care for them, commnicate with them.
There are a dozen more things I like and want to know, how do I reconcile what I want to do with life, with what I can do? Life is fantastic, but what do I do with it?
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