Questions by S.L.J

When it comes, it comes,
What will be, will be.
How do you do what you do?
Why do we work so hard,
Only to get more work?

Why do I dream?
Why do I feel?
Why do I hope,expect, desire?
When I know, I'll only be
Disappointed?

An Answer,
Thus is to live.
My Answer.

Weekend

I noe it ain't exactly the most well thought out title, but, whatever yeah? Hmm, had this saying thrown into my face repetitively over the past few days... Quis custodiet ipsos cutodes... basically means, 'Who will guard the guards?'...(or if u're picky for a literal translation, who has custody of the custodian, doesn't sound right does it?) Anyway, the phrase got me thinking... Who will guard the guards, doctor to the doctors, or in my case, care for the care giver?...

I mean I like to help others when they're in need, talk t them to cheer them up when they're depressed. but when i'm depressed, normally theonly person to sit down with me and talk things over, getting things sorted out is... well... me. Not to demean the many peple in my life who i do share my troubles with... It's jus tt, i find myself consoling myself... A bit too often. It's almost like, i have to solve almost every problem i find by myself. Every emotional setback i suffer, i suffer alone cos i have to show a strong front to people. And recently, i'm jus really tired all the time. Even when i rest a lot, i jus, don't have it in me to be driven to do anything recently. I do my job in camp, i help those who need help. Then there's nothing left for me. There's also no one there for me. Sorry if i sound like i'm whining, and i prolly am,..., can't think clearly anymore, jus really tired. I'll blog again another day... hope i have a better rein on my emotions soon, they've been running amok for some time. Adios amigos...

fixed it

finally fixed my blog, when i tweaked it a few days ago, left a line of code out..., and it couldn't update from my dashboard...., took me a feverish hr, but managed to fix it.. gonna sleep now..., starting to hate computers... but ifi didn't come on i'd miss talking to all my friends... many great ppl, like jamie,khaymar, aunt... vonnezzz, and pris..., also joel, ian etc etc... only reason i come online is to chat with them..., if not i'd prolly become a hermit..., adios then, signing off