Errant thoughts

A good friend of mine likes to tell me, 'don't think so much.' That's a problem sometimes for me. Like now, it's 4 am in the morning on a saturday, I have church on the morrow, and I can't sleep. I keep thinking of someone...

She's someone special to me, I don't meet her very often truth be told, but all the same I think about her still, even though she feels a million miles away. In more way than one.

Some of the events of the past few days may have had some influence on my thoughts, but recently I just think of her at odd times, and find myself doing my work and wondering what she would say if she saw it. Odd things like that.

Even though I used to see her about only once every two months or so, I miss those times, as in frequent as they were. I don't know what I was thinking but I just can't sleep. Maybe I just miss her.

It feels wrong to miss her so much especially as she has someone else she loves and loves her back, but I just can't control the direction my thoughts flow towards. Especially when I want to sleep. sigh...

I think too much? Definitely. Is it a good or a bad thing? I don't know. Sometimes I don't know if I should ask God to help me forget, if not everything, the important parts. Or if I should ask God for something forbidden... Doesn't help that recently I have been hearing so many sermons on christians not asking enough of God. That people should use God to empower them, and not stick to timid prayers.

I might have aken it outof context. Point is, I can't sleep, and I don't even know what to pray for. I just end up praying she's happy, and protected. sigh. I can't sleep...

Artist: Adam SandlerSong: I Wanna Grow Old With You

I wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad,
Carry you around when your arthristis is bad,
All i wanna do,
is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks oh,
It could be so nice,
growing old with you,

I'll miss you, kiss you,
give you my coat when you are cold.
I need you, feed you,
even let you hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink oh,
I could be the man
who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you