Weighed Down

i don't really know what to blog about... just felt like I really needed to put something down...

I sent the journal on to Rachel... I realize, that I'm not completely depressedanymore,thereare the times during the day taht I am able to forget, and enjoy myself a little in the things I do. Yet, the feelings keep rushing back...

Right now my emotions are sad, dejected and lonely. i feel like as usual I'm crying out for help, but it's too subtle for people to understand or read it. i don't blame them, but it makes me even sadder that no one can understand me, can helpme, can save me...

I hate to cry,
then why do i do it so often nowadays?...