Sigh...

I hate days like this... Sometimes I wonder if I simply think too much, compare myself too much, have too high expectations of myself or even whether I'm not thinking enough... I mean, once again, in terms of the engine practical, i'm learning it the fastest, and doin new stuff the instructors dun even think of... Yet, it's really hard to follow the advice of M1ch... I want to continue to do this well, but it's simply so difficult cos i don't know what to do about my complacency... I mean, I've read all the notes beforehand, studied the engine on al sides till i can practically visualise it in my mind's eye, and i even know the various ways to make tools work where they're not supposed to work... I know the only thing standing in my way from being truly great at this is... My ability to read the circuit diagrams and practice... Yet I simply can't get down to it... I'm overly stressed from F*ing up during my practice infront of my mates, and the circuit diagram... well, i'm lazily trying to tell myself i'm at a disadvantage cos i'm not a poly student...Unfortunately, i noe myself too well... If i get down to it i noe i can do well even at something completely out of my depth... Hell, i've done jus tt several times in my life... Rock climbing, chinese language, field events and even in making friends(i used to be rather introverted... dun ask..) I jus, ... argh, i dunno, and everytime i feel stresed, i think of Ishan, and I still don't know why!... haiz..., hope tmr is better...