Random Thoughts

- I like sports more thn I should
- Bowling is really interesting
- I have no life
- Merry christams and happy new year to everyone
- I have no idea which jes it is in the chat box below... either jestyn, jeslyn or jessica... ah well
- Having no internet doesn't really suck as much as I thought, (p.s., I'm in my aunt's house now)
- Have FF7 will disregard internet (FF7 is more fun than playing on the internet)
- note to self: do not reinterpret previous statement into playing with self more fun than playing with others
- oh damn
- on another note why do I have more calls from waterloo when i'm NOT in waterloo, and more calls from singapore when I AM in waterloo???
- does not bode well for my phone bill
- I miss people I shall not mention, actions of futility are the theme of last year... this year should be different
- might be different
- hopefully different
- well a guy can dream can't he?
- as long as it isn't a wet dream...
- bleah
- Wo zhen de bu yuen yi jiang wo xin li zhui xiang shuo de shi, ying wei jiang le tai duo chi hui ying xiang jie guo.
- ok enuff rambling, gonna go bowling
- with old foggies
- good for bullying
- on another random note i won 80 bucks in mahjong from my relatives so far..
- I really should cut down... they might get angry :P


Shaun

4.23am

It's now 4.23am and have spent the last 6 hours or so studying, I can't really remember when I started.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I'm not someone who is depressive. As in people who know me, know that I am smiling most of the time. Then why do I feel so melancholic or depressive at times? Do I have just cause or am I just stupid as I tell so many people. I don't know. I'm beginning to realize I don't know myself as well as I thought. Neither do I have any idea what people think of me or what image I give of myself. At least I know I am image conscious.

Sigh... Who am I to want to heal the ills of my friends, to comfort my friends, to save them? I can't even help myself, don't even know how to...

Who knows who I am? God only knows I'm sure, but He's definitely decided He's gonna keep His own counsel, and leave me in the dark. Year 14 of looking for who I am and failing...
-------------------------------------------------------
Who Am I by Casting Crowns

Verse:
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I? That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way, of my ever wondering heart,
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are


CHORUS:
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling, Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am,
I am Yours.


Verse 2:
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again,
Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are

Daft Punk - Around The World

I don't know why i like this vid so mych but i do.... lol, Daft Punk forever!

Hmm

I really should change blog sites... this has been here since 2004....

Ave Maria

Actually I prefer this version a bit more :P

Ave Maria

I'm missing the choir again...

IQ Test

Hmm was thinking about the IQ test the other day as I recently did an online one. As a result I found out a few things, have no idea how true they are, but *gasp* there they are on the internet! Haha ok from what I have been able to find out, by definition the average world IQ is supposed to be 100 (though there is a popular book out there [IQ and the Wealth of Nations] which has calculated it to be 90). Also according to trends research, the human IQ is to average at 82 by 2100, thank God I won't be alive...

At the top of the list for average IQ is actually Hongkong, with a score of 107. Followed closely behind by South Korea with 106, then Japan 105, THEN Taiwan and Singapore are tied at a score of 104.

What sort of blew my mind was that the average IQ of Canadians are supposed to be 97, and the average IQ of Americans is 98. This was completely unexpected to me. I'd expected canada to be higher, especially as Waterloo Ontario was recently named the World's Top Intelligent Community 2007 http://www.intelligentwaterloo.com/en/index.shtml


Oh well, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones... Scoring 145 on the IQ test... I scored terrible for the Logic and Visual Memory parts though... Oh well... Can't win them all...

Current mood

Frustration
Jealousy
Envy

Sigh....

Studying

How to study? I think it is safe to say I'm one of the worst students in the world... I can study for more than 26 hrs over three days for a single module and forget what felt like 60% of it before the midterm.

I'm sick of myself sometimes... sigh...

Why can't I find what I want to do? And why does it seem as though everything is so hard? I know I have talents, but they always seem so useless in light of life in general. Yes I can play music, not well enough to perform, good enuf to keep small grps of people entertained for 5 mins maybe. Yes I can play sports passably well, not well enough to be on any team, well enough to take part in a game. I'm smart, not smart enough to do well in school, but smart enough to learn fast...

ah well... back to studying.... ineffectually...

Pretty True

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Jars of clay

Went to my friend's blog and saw she had posted a song by Jars of Clay. Not knowing the song, I listened to the song and read the lyrics.... and... sometimes I feel that way... so I'm jus gonna copy her post (pretty much) and put it here... I know it's pretty messy, but I just don't feel like tidying it up right now....
--------------------------------------------------------

Just in case, I will leave my things packed

So I can run away

I cannot trust these voices I don't have a line of prospects that can give some kind of peace

There is nothing left to cling to that can bring me sweet release

I have no fear of drowning

It's the breathing that's taking all this work

Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"?

What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"

Empty spaces with shadows hit by streetlights

Warnings signs and weight of tired conversations

In the absence of a shoulder, in the abscess of a thief

On the brink of this destruction, on the eve of bittersweet

Now all the demons look like prophets and I'm living out

Every word they speak, every word they speak

Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"?

What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"

What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"

Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"?

What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"

What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"

Alone, alone, I don't want to be alone

I have no fear of drowning

It's the breathing that's taking all this work

Happy Halloween, or All Hallow's eve

i know i look ridiculous but oh well it's halloween... i wasn't the only one...

Sigh...

I lost my temper a bit today..., completely my fault, but I feel it's somewhat justified.... I really should get some sleep, it's harder to control myself when I'm tired....

Que Sera Sera

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be
-------------------------------------

I guess I don't really want to see what the future has in store for me.

Yes! I found it!

It's 4am and i have a midterm in 7 hours, but I found this song from my past "Reaching for you" A beautiful song that I haven't heard in a long while... Now I really want to play it with the band....

Hope you love it too...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Reaching for you by Raymond Badham

C G/B
I can·t believe the way
Gm7/Bb F/A
Your love has got a hold on me
C G/B Dm7 F2
Each morning I wake to find You near

C G/B
You lift me above my fears
Gm7/Bb F/A C
And set my feet on solid ground
G/B Dm7 F
All of my days belong to You

PRE-CHORUS:
F#m7 C#m7
And I breathe in Your
D Esus4 C#/F F#m7
Breathe of life that fills my heart
Dm6/F A/E B7/D# D D/E
You are my all consuming fire

CHORUS:
E A2
And I stand here before You
F#m9 F#m7 F#m9 F#m7
In wide-opended wonder
Bm7 Esus4 E A Bm7
Amazed at the Glory of You
E A2
The power of heaven
F#m9 F#m7 F#m9 F#m7 Bm7
Revealing Your purpose in me
Esus4 E D2
As I·m reaching for You

Who am I

Casting Crowns - Who Am I Lyrics

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I? That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.

Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again

Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am. I am yours.

Not because of who I am. But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done. But because of who you are.

Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.

Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear? 'Cuz I am yours. I am yours.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I first heard this song I picked it up because of it's clever lyrics, "not because of who I am, but because of what You've done, not because of what I've done but because fo who You are." But then, the more i sang the song, the more i actually listened to it, the more it started to affect me.

Then after a while, I realized the song also spoke to my subconcious, the constant question in my life, in everyone's life. Who am I? Hmm, well, I guess there's an answer =D. Anyway the song is just amazing (yes this is said with a canadian accent) and I hope people will understand it as well as I seem to have.

God is watching...

I know I haven't been blogging for a long while, and have seldom been doing so. Honestly I found I've lost the taste for blogging, simply because I've stopped whining I guess. Oh before I froget, I realize why I had trouble with the html for the background script, Firefox was unable to view the "fixed" background command, but when I used Internet explorer, there was no problem with the website.

Hmmm, a little update on me, I've been pretty hooked onto facebook, and I've recently started being re-addicted to gunbound. Unfortunately for a guy who is alone most of the time, there isn't very much one can do during free time, so I use the computer and try to keep myself busy.

For those of you who don't know about facebook, it's a pretty interesting system similiar to friendster and myspace. It's more geared towards the schooling crowd however. The unique property of facebook is the ability to add applications and to interact with people you have addded as friends. There are applications like superpoke, battle stations pets etc, a large number of application brings great versatility and a unique experience to every user. Girls would be able to have cuter applications like fluffy friends, superwall, grafitti and growing pets. Guys would be able to add applications like battlestations, fight club and fight poke.

Gunbound for those who don't know about it, is somewhat like an internet version of Worms, though that is simplifying it. There are multiple mobiles to choose from and each have their unique propeties. My favourite mobile is something called the boomer, it has a strong attack, a large angle of attack, and moderate movement abilities, its downside is an extremely weak defense and a shot that is light in weight and strongly affected by wind factors. This makes for a mobile that requires the use of a lot of strategy, but if the right strategy is used, it is an extremely strong mobile to use.

Anyway that's all I have for now... Will blog again when i next feel like it...

Help

Erm, could someone take a look at my html and tell me what i'm doing wrong... Been trying to get the picture to stay in place and I know the command for it is bgproperties= "fixed" but it doesn't stay fixed :p ah well....

Time for school...

Hmm, it's now sunday, and I'm the most sick I've been since... I can't remember when. This flu is seriously taking it out of me. As a result I decided to spend the day in at home, I've put myself into my personal prison haha.

Another day another new semester, classes start tomorrow, and there's some trepidation in my part. Will it be an easier or harder year? Will I be able to make more friends or find a group like the one I'd found in Singapore? So many questions, and only God has the answer...

I hope to find my way as the rest of my life awaits me...

Finally

I Will Sing of Your Faithfulness

C
I will sing of Your faithfulness
G/C C
Of your mercy and Your love
C/E F G C
I will say this is the day That the Lord has made
C
I hold onto your promise
G C
And the resurrection power
C F G C
Restore to me Your joy I will praise You now

C G/C C
Be glad and rejoice For the Lord our Saviour reigns
Am D/F# G
And the joy of the Lord Shall be our strength
F C/E F G Am
I was born to be Your dwelling place
F G C
This Is the day That the Lord has made
________________________________________________

I know I haven't blogged much ever since I've been back in singapore, there's no real reason for it. I just haven't been in the mood and I haven't been in a contemplative mood for a long while. I'll be leaving Singapore on the 20th of August. Good bye my church, till we met again.

Let my words be few

Let My Words Be Few
VERSE 1:
G G+ Em/G C
You are God in heaven, and here am I on earth,
G G+ Em/G C
So I'll let my words be few.
Am7 G/B C D G
Je-sus, I_ am so in love with You.

CHORUS:
F/G Em7 Am7 Am7/G
And I'll stand in awe of You;
G F/G Em7 C
yes, I'll stand in awe of You.
Am7 Em7 C
And I'll let my words be few.
Am7 G/B C D G C/G (G)
Je-sus, I_ am so in love with You.

VERSE 2:
The simplest of all love songs, I want to bring to You,
So I'll let my words be few.
Jesus, I am so in love with You.

©2000 Kingsway's Thankyou Music
Words and Music by Matt and Beth Redman


It's been a great holiday so far for me. I've been busy as anything, but mostly cos I've been goin out with friends and such. It's hard to explain the difference in culture between here and canada, not that either is particularly much better than the other, but they are just seemingly insurmountable differences between the two. The problem, I guess, was mine when I couldn't adapt fast enough or well enough in Canada.

Last night, as I was at home, retuning my semi-acoustic, I suddenly remembered a song that I jus desperatly wanted to play... No idea why, but there is it up there. The tune aside, the simple lyrics just felt like they sat right with me at that moment...So I'm posting it here for others who might... I don't know, need quiet reminder, or just a need to listen and relax. Life can be simple.

Welcoming a new family member! =D

Bianca Ryan And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going

i jus jad to post this again... it makes me have goosebumps... man...

For the Longest Time

Billy Joel-The Longest Time

For the longest time

I really like this song...

The Longest Time - Billy Joel
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Back in black

I'm back in Singapore... it's been 4 hours.... what can I say?... I'm back?...

Busy Beaver

I know it's been awhile since I last posted anything, well, first there were the exams so wasn't free to post anything, then I had to move out of my residence within 24hrs... That was a whirlwind called my father, and we basically jus chucked everything into the apartment I will be staying in next term.

Once that was done, I had to catch a flight to Vancouver and have been staying at the farm, now re-christened as "My home", for the past several weeks. For the first week there was no gate, no phone, no cable, no internet and no car, but had plenty of bootleg movies to watch... Second week,there was still no car, no cable, no internet, the plants needed planting the patio needed to be torn up and redone, the grass needed to be cut (10 acres of it) and the movies were finished :P

Hahaso yeah I've been plenty busy,and whenever I went to my uncle and aunt's houses their computers were kinda wonky,so I couldn't access blogger either oh well... So now I finally get to use the internet by plugging their internet into my laptop. Whoopeedoo...

Ok enuff said, for those who want to know. I have a flight back to Singapore on the 12th of May, which means I'll reach Singapore on the 13th of May, a Sunday, or more specifically, Mother's Day! So it means I will only be free earliest on 14th of May... Flight details... I won't include here, cos I don't think anyone is gonna meet me at the airport anyway haha.

Hmm, anyway i'm off to bed to dream about meeting the peeps I miss os much haha. Adios.

New template

yeah trying out a new template on my blog... not very much has changed other than the background and stuff.... and some of the colours look awkward... I'm having a little trouble understanding the html porperties of blogspot... oh well... comment yeah... i'll try to change the blog to make it easier to read.

(BTW, the background picture was taken by me and isn't an image found on the net)

If Everyone Cared

If Everyone Cared

I can't believe I was crying to this... Honestly a fantastic song...

If Everyone Cared by Nickelback

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

[CHORUS]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day... when nobody died

And I'm singing
Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air, the fireflies
Our only light, in paradise
We'll show the world, they were wrong
And teach them all, to sing along

Singing Amen I, I'm alive
Singing Amen I, I'm alive

[CHORUS (X2)]

And as we lie, beneath the stars
We realize, how small we are
If they could love, like you and me
Imagine what, the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died [X2]

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

A Semi-finalist

After 7 long months of New venture project, it's finally over. I'm amazed that our group did so well, we managed to get into the semi-finals when I wasn't sure our group could have. It was such a rush learning that we had emerged the top in our lab and was to be a semi-finalist, working through the night to make a better report and powerpoint. Jess was great, she helped us so much...

Hmm to better clarify, the semi-finalists were mentioned at 11pm on thursday night and we had to hand in 7 copies of our report to the Teaching Assistant's(TA) office by 10am.So in a mad rush to improve our chances for getting to the finals, we used that 11 hour space, working through the night to just improve our report. We also had to present our work a second time to a panel of 7 judges. Alas, tis was all in vain, so i lost a night of sleep and slept during the day... And now it's night and I don't feel very tired... Just sick... Well, I'm glad that we managed to get as far as we did... We have bragging rights now, in the top undergraduate business university in canada, we are the top 20% in the business program to get through to the semi-finals. It's good enough for me in my book. I just wish I could have celebrated this with someone tonight... oh well...

Music

I've recently come upon the thought that I might understand myself more through the way I play music... I'm wondering whee this thought will lead me. I feel I'm right but I'm not sure what path this will lead me down. I know I'm not exactly a great musician but as artists express their views and perceptions through painting, I try to do the same through music... But up till now I've never really thought about what I'm actually 'saying' through my playing... Time to reflect...

Reflections off a murky pool...

I realize I am a person who needs to interact with other people, yet at the same time I'm uncomfortable with too many people... It's weird... I feel... disjointed when I am completely undisturbed and have no book to absorb my attention within... I realize whenever I am on the computer I always use msn to chat with people... for no reason other than it keeps me from being truly alone... At the same time... I know I am not comfortable in a crowd of strangers. How do I strike a balance?

Anyway, the term is almost ending another 3 more weeks and I will be moving out of Bricker residence... I honestly don't know how I feel about it, it's been my 'home' for the past 8 months, and I have gotten rather comfortable here... in a sense... I don't really need much amenities and the only serious problem I have encountered is a chronic insomnia that strikes whenever ... I'm not too sure why yet, it just happens... I know when I move out I WILL miss this place...

In other news, i AM a bibliophile, it feels so uncomfortable without a book to read... I've refrained from purchasing books for the past month or so and have had a few withdrawal symptoms from the lack of textual material. I've been listless and restless... I've also been thinking waaay too much. I realize I still miss Aunt, but not talking or seeing her online helps somewhat... I might have been really stupid going about that though... I decided I WILL tell her when I'll be back in Singapore, but will refrain from contacting her before then... sigh... i really should keep that bracelet she gave me in a safe place... I see it lying beside my com everyday... At least I've stopped wearing it as though it were a religious item, or a prayer...

2 weeks to the midterms... I have no confidence in myself at all..., I'm coping with my flu, my insomnia, my stupidity, and my lack of self-confidence... How do I study? I mean, I know I've been to every single lecture and have never skipped even one, so I understand the material well enough. I just can't study recently... It isn't a matter of discipline, commitment or scheduling anymore. I square away time to study... and I sit and stare, or get sidetracked or simply can't understand what the heck I am looking at. Thank God the business New Venture project is almost over. That took up a huge load of my time... It's the only thing I have been somewhat serious in all term as it's something realistic that I want to try in future.

Where am I goin in my life... I have a goal in life yes, but is it the right direction? Most of my JC friends think I should be in the Arts... My Church friends think I should be in the music or sciences, I don't know what I want either... I know I love music but also know it's not viable plus I don't have the talent for it. Sigh, here I am going on this tangent again...

Need need need to do well in business.... Must do well... HAVE to do well... What else can I do in life?

Krytonite

KRYPTONITE
By: Three Doors Down

I took a walk around the world to
ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere
in the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark
side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the
dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

Chorus:
If I go crazy then will you still
call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
there holding my hand
I'll keep you be my side with
my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called my strong, you called me weak,
but still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
on solid ground

Repeat Chorus Two Times

Yeah!

Repeat Chorus Two Times, till end…
_________________________________________________
Hmm, I don't know why I like this song and 'Eleanor' by mad millions so much, Krytonite is the ONLY rock song which i know the lyrics back to back , that's mostly cos I had to sing it on two separate occasions and it's an easy song to play... Well relatively easy at least.

Most people tell me not to think so much, but... I'm stupid enough, I'm not exactly doing fantastically well in my studies, and I don't know if there's any way to really not think other than drinking and being insanely busy. Even while reading I'm constantly comparing events in my life to the fictional characters in my books, or my experiences in what I read in my text books.

Another person recently told me, girls aren't interested in me likely because I don't exude the feeling of 'looking' for a relationship. Honestly... I don't know how to do that... I can recognize it in people sure, but it's like ... like knowing how people ride a bicycle, but not being able to ride one yourself. Another question people ask, is if I feel inaequate about myself, again honestly? No... Yes I know I'm fat and ugly and not too smart... But I'm stronger than most people my size, I can play more instruments than most people and I'm not exactly poor, I recognize that I am blessed in so many ways, and I'm pretty sure God knows that as well...

Problem is, well all the things I can do... don't make for good first impressions and that can be unfortunate. Oh well, so do I then work harder to change people's impression of me? Well, maybe I'm looking for that person who looks past another's surface and into their being themself. I know some who have done it, and they're good friends of mine in Singapore who know I would sacrifice much for them, and have done so in the past.

Now I jus need to find my own niche here... How? I don't know... God will provide, maybe at the end of 4 years I'd hate to leave this place as much as I did Singapore... Only time will tell...

Listening to Vertical Horizon now... Hey damein, let's try that song once i'm back in singapore for the hols yeah? God bless.

Snow Day 2

Well, due to an internet error my previous post was lost in cyberspace. Oh well...

Well, I had a midterm that was supposed to be today, but as a result of the snow day, it has apparently been postphoned. Currently there is no news as to when it will be postphoned to. This is pretty good for me as I had a bad bout of insomnia again last night, went to bed at 2am only to wake up at 5am with no clue why. So i did a little studying, finished watching Army Daze on youtube and visited the blogs of a few friends. Then it hit me so hard when I visited an ex-classmate's blog. It showed them singing a medley of singapore songs, and my first big bout of homesickness hit me.

Waterloo just seems so big yet so restrictive at the same time. Being in a place that plainly dwarfs singapore yet not having the means to tranverse it, is a psychological challenge. In singapore I knew almost all the major roads, and it's so small you couldn't really get lost, and the freedom of having a car. It was just so comfortable there, where going to town, I would be able to come across 2 or 3 friends on a weekend.

I miss bball saturdays with Gene, Abner, Aaron, Tony, Ivan, Jes, Terry, and sometimes the other who join us like Shung and Jarrod , supper and nonsense with Joy, Ashley, Rachel, jamming with Dam and the youth worship team, discussion suppers with Lun(one of my best friends), midnight road trips with Hansel(another best friend, known both for over a decade), movie dates with Eunice, philosophical/theological/tech discussion with Izzy, singing with PS100, Small group meetings with Hon Yuh leading and even the small things like driving little aunt(van) home and talking with her, and random meals with Aunt and rarer one with I-shan and Jamie. I even miss playing DotA with the guys online and in LAN shops...

Sometimes, I wonder how I made so many friends there, especially when I have so many problems making friends with the people here. Is all because I have lived almost my whole life in Singapore? Seems the case yet, most of my good friends mentioned above I have only started meeting 5 to 6 years ago. Most of them are my church friends, people I've helped and people I love in a way I can't express. It's not that I don't have good and valuable friends here, friends like Cora, Meh meh(jess), Chris, and Allan. Yet, I feel restrained. I have no idea what I want. The relationsip i have with Cora and Chris feels more like a business relationship, Cora's somewhat deeper. Allan, it's hard cos it feels like he has bigger things to think about. Jess is the only friendly friend, but she's only one person...

Sigh, so many things I want done, so many things I need done, so few I have done. Well, happy snow day to me...

*sniff sniff* "momeeeeee... it's oveeeeeeeeeerrrrr!"

Hmm reading week is over,... , no i didn't get as much done as i had hoped to, it was good to relax a little and just move around discovering new things... especially the location of a chinese supermarket. I finally have soya bean drink, dou nai,tau huey jui, beancurd milk! It's fantastic. Well, watched a lot of movies, read a lot of books and hopefully ready to deal with the next few weeks. Ja ne.

Sharing a Donkey...
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story; "If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye."

Toilet jokes
Graffiti 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I lie in stinky vapour, Because some ******* stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this....
Washroom Graffiti 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Some one who had a different experience wrote
Washroom Graffiti 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets
Washroom Graffiti 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose
Washroom Graffiti 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls are also job advertisement places.......
Washroom Graffiti 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of environment advertisement
Washroom Graffiti 7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!

Washroom Graffiti 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

Washroom Graffiti 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the inside of a toilet door:
patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

Washroom Graffiti 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:
We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool!

Washroom Graffiti 11
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.
This should teach you a lesson

Washroom Graffiti 12
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Just for laughs

Little Johnny's Too Smart For First Grade
A first grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"

Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too."

Mrs Brooks had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.

While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"

Johnny: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Mrs Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."

Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him, some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agree.

Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of? Johnny, after a moment "Legs."

Mrs Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Johnny: "Pockets."

Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"

Johnny: "Coconut."

Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny takes charge.....

Johnny: "Bubblegum."

Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on 3 legs?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....

Johnny: "Shake hands."

Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?"

Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me.You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Johnny: "Tent."

Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first"

The principal was looking restless and a bit tense. Johnny: "Wedding Ring."

Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?"

Johnny: "Arrow."

Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Johnny: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

JUst wanted to say...

I have been thinking a lot, and... My way is still not clear. I have no idea what I am aiming for still... I have all my short term goals, and they're all pretty and nice all stacked up in a corner, but what do i want? Current short term goals are simple things like, do well in school, find and learn new things in a city where I know no one and nothing of, keep in contact with old friends, and do God's work, whatever it is.

I have no answer..., to anything. I mean I have some friends here now, I've found an apartment that will last me the next three years, and I have plans as to what I will be doing those three years. What is it for though? Money? Status? Recognition?, I don't know, I want to be satisfied with my life, I want to learn so much, I don't want to be confined to a single subject, I want to know more! I like the idea of psychology to see what makes poeople tick, I like physics cos through a series of calculations and formulas, you can predict how something would work, aerodynamics, trajectory, spatial dimensions. I like chemistry, and its links to biology, how something so small, can create a worldwide phenomenon, how acids react differently and why? Is it due to 'reactivity'? something created by nature, or is it physics in the ways it's molecules and electrons are made? I like how all science ties together and splits apart yet doing it's best not to clash with each other, sort of like a symphony for a choir, many voices one song. I like music also for this reason, how separate 'pretty' parts can be conjoined into a beautiful whole. I like political science, and how the world has created so many governmental systems to promote the equality of man, and do it in so many ways, a sort of evolution due to historic events as simple as a tea party. I like religion and how symbols and interpretations and miracles have shaped it. I like the moral stories and gospels that speak of simple things with immense implications. I like sports as well the teamwork involved and personalities involved, how many people with different attributes and different mindsets can act in collusion, can act together towards one goal, and the adrenaline rush. I like computers, how the binary code and what the future of quantum computers present, where other than 0 or 1 , you can have states in between. I even like small animals, most obviously dogs and cats, I want to know how to care for them, commnicate with them.

There are a dozen more things I like and want to know, how do I reconcile what I want to do with life, with what I can do? Life is fantastic, but what do I do with it?

Really should blog about something

cos it's been too long... Oh well, haven't had much interesting stuff goin on in my life recently I guess, plus not really ben in the mood to blog. i've had a lot of time of reflection and just thinking.

The prayer group at the King Street Residence hasn't commenced yet, but I believe it will, in time... I've withdrawn fom the Campus for Christ worship team, because I've been so busy on the rehearsal days and the rehearsal location is just really far since I have to walk there in -(double digit) temperatures. I have several midterms next week, and so am quite busily studying, and due to a complaint... am listening to music provided by Travis next door rather than playing my own music, the concrete wall transmit sound much better than I thought, and rather than disturb someone who's studying, I've been trying to keep as quiet as possible.. I still watch stuff on my com sometimes though.

On a side note, I've bought a second monitor for my laptop, it's a 19" screen, and it's pretty useful. Helps me to keep track of all the stuff I'm doin on my laptop. I normally work on my laptop screen and have either the notes I've "kept" on this secondary monitor, or just have people I'm msning with on it. Then I don't have to stop my work, jus look right, click, reply, and go back to work. Anyway reading week is coming up soon, will get a week to catch up to everything i haven't. So will probably blog then again... See if I'm in the mood.

Cya yeah, miss ya aunt, little aunt(van), Damein, bball guys, 'ex-gf for a day' and KM =D

Tired...

I remember being more tired than I am now. Jus can't remember when and why... It's exhausting trying to study when you just want to leave the world behind and shoot some hoops. I miss basketball... There are some things I miss more, but not many....

BECK-MCS
-19 I've Got A Feeling
Lyrics : Lennon & Mc Cartney Music : Lennon & Mc Cartney

I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah

Oh, yeah, that's right

I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide, oh no no

oh no, oh no

Yeah, yeah

I've got a feeling, yeah

Oh please believe me, I'd hate to miss the train

Oh yeah yeah oh yeah

And if you leave me, I won't be late again

oh no, oh no, oh no

yeah, yeah

I've got a feeling, yeah I've got a feeling

All these years I've been wandering around

wondering how come nobody told me

All that I was looking for was somebody

who looked like you

I've got a feeling that keeps me on my toes

oh yeah, oh yeah

I've got a feeling that everybody knows

oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah yeah, yeah

I've got a feeling, yeah

Yeah

Everybody had a hard year

Everybody had a good time

Everybody had a wet dream

Everybody saw the sun shine

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Everybody had a good year

Everybody let their hair down

Everybody pulled their socks up

Everybody put their foot down

oh yeah

Everybody had a hard year

Everybody had a good time

Everybody had a wet dream

Everybody saw the sun shine

Everybody had a good year

Everybody let their hair down

Everybody pulled their socks up

Everybody put their foot down

I've got a feeling I've got a feeling I've got a feeling, yeah

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This is a song from the anime Beck, not sure how accurate the lyrics are actually haha. Hmm, loved this song cos it epitomized to me how synergy can be created with the roght group of people. Just knowing how another person plays where in the world you fit and how it doesn't matter how good you are, jus how good you are together. Listen to the Beck or Mongolian Chop Squad version, really played by the Beat Crusaders, love their music =D